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"The night I finished my Christmas shopping Christmas stocking. In recent years, done at K-Mart. After several hours or more $, so I'm usually for the better part of my Chirstmas list. Unfortunartly-K Mart was the only store in town where I could get the last 3 items. I went to the store manager explaned About T-shirt and showed him the little that I had spent in his store this year, compared to years. I asked if he would please forward the information on the company headquarters.He shares my distaste for T-shirts to show our children that violence is an answer to solving problems and he said he would get an e-mail immediately. "Problem solved," reads the T-shirt. The drawing above features stick figure drawings of a male and a female. In the first part, the woman speaks enthusiastically to the man - in the second, he pushed through the wall of the frame. It falls to his doom - he smiled. "The problem is solved." Worse yet, the T-shirt is a shirt for children.According to the Kennebec Journal, shopper Kristin Aiello told the Augusta, Maine, K-Mart store manager that the message on the shirt was offensive (http://kennebecjournal.mainetoday.com/news/local/3429020.html - l Article has a picture of the shirt). The manager promptly removed the T-shirts. Surely this should have ended the matter. Every twelve seconds in the United States, a man abuses the woman he promised to love. Every two minutes a man rapes a woman - usually a woman he knows. Men's violence against women is supported by societal attitudes that reduce women's voices to objects of irritation.Silencing women is very much a part of committing violence against them. Violence against women is not funny - especially to the millions of women who experience it. In an abrupt reversal, however, K-Mart corporate offices has changed the decision of the store manager. The Journal article quotes Kimberly Freely, manager of corporate relations for Sears Holdings Corporation. Freely said the Augusta K-Mart put the shirts back on the shelves - Sears Holdings Corporation believes that "these attitude Ts are meant to be light in nature." Light-hearted?Whatever the intent of the shirt, the effect is to minimize and tolerate the violence of men. K-Mart reversal of the decision of the store manager deliberately undermines their history of philanthropy and commitment to organizations dedicated to preventing violence against women. Their decision affects all those working to stop this violence. Many men (myself included) find it difficult to listen seriously to women. We tend to be defensive. After all, we are socialized to be the dog "top", which is in charge of the relationship.If we listen to women, our authority would be compromised, whether in our personal relationship or the world. If we listen to women, we may have to recognize sexism and violence suffered by women - that commits our gender. If we listen to women, we may be responsible for our own actions, for our own sexism, for our own privilege - for our own violence. Humor can also be used as a club. It can be used to avoid responsibility - "Can you not a joke?" Humor can be used to silence targets of oppression: women, people of color, Jews, lesbians and homosexuals, etc.And it could allow men, whites, heterosexuals nice, and others continue to ignore our privilege, and ignore the violence that continues our group. My calls to Sears Holdings Company went unreturned. My call to my local K-Mart has been much more illuminating - they had previously stored the T-shirt offensive, but were not the case today. I asked if it was because the shirt was so shocking - "Oh, my God, no!" The worker replied. "We just missed. We'll do another."I saw a lot of emails from people who refuse to shop at their local K-Mart, Sears or until they take the low liners. Folks have also persuaded their local K-Mart to get the jerseys - managers and workers have done, disgusted by the message of the shirts ( "I do not what the office thinking," said the director, then emailed to advise the company headquarters). Many groups have now joined this cause: Hardy Hardy Girls www.hghw.org women www.dadsanddaughters.org Dads and Daughters, and the Boston chapter of the National Organization for Men against Sexism www.nomasboston.org, just to name a few. Many have compared this to protest the book OJ Simpson's - Hopefully the wave of opposition will have the same success this time, and T-shirts will be removed from shelves.

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